literature

Cats Game CH6

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Shizuo hoped that if he concentrated really hard, he could wake up. Because at this point, things had become so surreal that he had to be dreaming. Gravity squashed his stomach painfully as the elevator rocketed upwards. Shizuo’s body shuddered at the sensation of movement, but Celty gently stroked his back and he relaxed.

The cat leaned against his carrier and slowly exhaled. Everything was fine. He had nothing to be ashamed of; he’d just sort of…inexplicably turned into a cat. The problem was whether or not to try communicating with Celty. There was a possibility that she could help him, but Shizuo couldn’t bear her thinking less of him because of all this, and he didn’t want to be a burden.

An electric bell declared their arrival at one of the higher floors. The elevator pulled to a halt, staggering Shizuo’s internal organs a second time. Damn elevators, he cursed as Celty exited the tiny space. They weren’t natural.

The Headless Rider rang the buzzer of her apartment and waited for the door to open. After about half a minute, footsteps could be heard advancing up the hallway.

“Celty!” Shinra greeted excitedly as he opened the door.

His expression changed when he saw the cat in her arms. As Celty pushed past him into the residence, he asked:

“And who is this?”

As soon as the door was closed, Celty lowered Shizuo to the floor, where he sat dutifully at her feet. He watched as the Rider took out her PDA and clacked a sentence into it. Shizuo tried his best, but he simply couldn’t read what Celty had written from his current position. However, he understood from her body language that she was amused.

Shinra replied by bending down to Shizuo’s height and scrutinizing him. Shizuo allowed Shinra’s fingers to comb his fur, despite the fact that he did not like to be touched.

“I see what you mean,” Shinra said, smiling as he adjusted his glasses. “He does sort of look like Shizuo.”

Celty shook her helmet and started to text her opinion. Meanwhile, Shinra was enjoying petting the large white cat that, suddenly grasped by inspiration, stared right into his eyes. Shizuo shouted as loudly as he could:

“Shinra!”

Shinra froze.

He didn’t even turn to read Celty’s PDA when she held it up, which caused her to erase her answer and write something else. When Shinra did not react to that either, she knelt beside him and shook his shoulder with one hand.

Shinra broke eye contact with Shizuo to scan the feline’s body. Then he swallowed loudly, as though his mouth had instantly gone dry.  

“Celty…” Shinra announced shakily.

[What? What is it?] Celty asked via her phone.

“I…I think I might have made a terrible mistake.”

Several minutes later, Shinra and Celty were sitting on the couch. Shizuo sat across from them on the coffee table. Celty held her PDA up and tilted her neck scrupulously, as though raising an eyebrow.

[Let me get this straight,] she was careful to aim the phone at an angle that Shizuo could also see, [you turned Shizuo into a cat?]

“Not on purpose.” Shinra clarified immediately.

Celty’s shoulders sagged and she busily returned to texting. Before she could finish, Shizuo hopped into her lap and put a paw on her PDA. Celty understood and handed the machine over. Despite the severity of the situation, both adults had to coo over Shizuo’s attempts to use the phone. It took him a while, but the cat finally finished his message, which he kicked over to Shinra.

[If you don’t change me back right now i will rip your head off and stomp it into the ground.]

Shinra gulped and nodded respectfully. Shizuo’s air of intimidation was instantly dispelled when he snatched the PDA back and hastily wrote:

[no offense celty]

Celty waved her hand at him. She then took her phone back and printed a question:

[But why, Shinra? And what do you mean, ‘not on purpose’?]

“OK,” Shinra inhaled deeply and rubbed his palms on his knees, preparing himself for a long story. “Um, remember when I gave you a bottle of milk this morning?”

[Yes, I thought that was odd, but what does it have to do with this?]

“Well…” The doctor elongated his words, resulting in an evil glare from Shizuo. “…See, it turns out that although you can’t drink, you do absorb sustenance from your surroundings. So essentially, as long as that bottle was near you, you’d absorb its nutrients into your own chemical composure.”

Celty texted, confused.

[What does that have to do with cats?]

“Er…” Shinra stalled again, and this time Shizuo’s claws came out.

“I sort of…wanted to experiment with a certain formula to see if it would turn Celty…into a kitten.”

Silence. Shinra’s forehead shone with sweat and his face was red as a cherry. Celty sat motionless for a few seconds. Then she lowered the PDA to her lap. Shizuo was tragically unsurprised. He’d learned to expect shenanigans like this from Shinra years ago.

Celty punched Shinra flat across the jaw. His glasses nearly flew from his face, and the underground doctor coughed out a tooth. Shizuo could see the steam billowing from Celty’s neck (literally) as her fingers assaulted the PDA’s keyboard. It was obvious she was completely infuriated, but the cat hopped back across to the sofa anyway. Shizuo laid his paw on her hand, causing her to stop and look at him.

He shook his head and pressed lightly on her hand.

“Don’t ask questions you don’t want to hear the answers to.” Shizuo told her soundlessly.

The Dullahan clenched her fists and squared her shoulders, trying desperately to contain herself. Yep, Shizuo had been there. Her whole body shook with rage. Eventually, Shizuo lifted his paw and she wrote with trembling digits:

[Just change him back.]  

“He should change back all by himself,” Shinra replied sheepishly, “It just depends on how long he was in contact with the milk. Did it splash on you?”

Shizuo wasn’t sure how, but he and Celty exchanged nervous glances. He cautiously entered into the keypad:

[what happens if i drank it]

“You ingested it?” Shinra repeated incredulously.

Shizuo was about to type a biting response, but the roles reversed and Celty took the phone back.

“Alright,” Shinra sighed and adjusted his bent spectacles, “It will take much longer to wear off, but the effects are still temporary. Probably.”

[Probably?!]

[damnit shinra]

“I know, I know!” Shinra wailed, hiding his head between his elbows. “I’m sure it’ll be fine though! I’m so sorry, Shizuo! I’m really, really sorry!”

[youd better hope i stay a cat forever shinra. Bc when i get back to normal i am not responsible for whatvr happens to you.]

Around that time, in an apartment in Ikebukuro…

“Well.”

Quiet.

“This is interesting.”

The empty bathroom had nothing to say.

Izaya sighed and pulled his knees up against his chest. He’d managed to escape Mairu and her friend by bounding into the bathroom and shutting the door, which was now locked. But Izaya had only just reached safety when a spinning sensation seized his head and he collapsed.

When he came to, he was lying facedown in a stranger’s bathroom, completely naked. One glance in the mirror convinced him he was no longer a cat, at least. He’d looked tired, pale, and sick. Ordinarily, he wouldn’t be overly concerned about this type of situation, but with Mairu Orihara outside the door, there was no telling what would happen if he tried to leave. Izaya immediately assumed she had a camera prompted and ready to shoot. And while the pictures probably wouldn’t cause him any harm, they could conceivably destroy the reputation he held as one of the toughest men in Ikebukuro.

The informant took a breath and climbed to his feet. Whatever bold escape he had in mind, he wasn’t going to get anywhere sitting in some girl’s bathtub feeling hopeless. He walked across the room and opened a cabinet, peering inside. Good, at least there was a bath towel here that he could use. After tying it securely around his waist, he considered using a bed sheet as a makeshift robe. Unfortunately, Izaya understood that this apartment was deep in Ikebukuro, quite far from any real estate of his own. He didn’t like the idea of riding in a cab naked…

Perhaps Mairu could get his clothes for him…

He clicked his tongue in annoyance and banished that thought immediately. He knew better than to trust his twisted little sister. Izaya understood well what horrid conditions would come with her aid (because he would use the same set were this situation reversed).

Muffled voices from outside the bathroom door drew the eldest Orihara’s attention:

“Mira-chan, I have to pee.”

“Sorry, the door seems to be stuck…”

“Can you unstick it?”

Izaya’s eyes widened as the handle clicked and jiggled. However, the door did not move. Mira grunted and pushed against it, but the reinforced wood stayed shut.

“Ugh…no.”

“Hmm. That’s too bad. Wait here.”

It was occurring to Izaya as Mairu ran down the hall that his little sister might have a lockpick. If that was true, then his seconds were numbered.

It was time for drastic action.

Izaya twisted the lock and yanked the door wide open, shocking the girl waiting outside. Before she could react, the informant snatched her wrist and pulled her over the threshold, slamming the door behind her. He flicked the lock back into position and heaved a sigh of relief. But it would only last until Mairu returned…

“Wh-wh-who are you!” Mira demanded, bewildered.

She tried to back away from him, but the tile floor was slippery and she only succeeded in flailing backwards. Moving quickly, Izaya managed to catch her before she split her skull on the edge of the toilet.

“Don’t touch me-!” She cried, attempting to free herself from Izaya’s grasp. He didn’t let go.

“I know you’re afraid,” He told her quietly. His calm voice soothed her and her struggles lessened, “I understand. I’m pretty scared myself.”

“How did you get in here?” Mira wondered. Then she blinked and turned around, “And where is my cat?”

“What would you do if I told you that I was your cat?”

“What?” She snickered, tears of fright brimming her eyes, “That’s ridiculous. That kind of stuff only happens in bad manga.”

Izaya sighed and recited:

“’I don’t know why, but I feel like I can tell you anything. You won’t judge me, won’t care if I’m pretty or ugly or popular or stupid or anything. You’ll love me anyway, you drama queen, you’.”

Mira choked on her own saliva and her eyes bugged. Her cheeks burned with embarrassment as she tried to respond, but Izaya narrowed his eyes and continued:

“You see, Mira-chan, you suffer from a classic case of eighth-grade-syndrome.”

“But…” She coughed and swallowed, her swollen face only dwindling her age, “…I’m in ninth grade!”

“Which explains why you’re still affected. But don’t worry; eighth-grade-syndrome affects everyone. Several people I know are still suffering from it.”

Mira wiped her eyes and asked:

“What is it?”

But it was at that moment that Mairu came back, and Izaya knew it was all or nothing.

“Mira-chan? Mira-chan, are you in there?”

Izaya stood and approached the door. He called out loudly:

“Mairu? You are going to leave this apartment right now and take a cab to my office in Shinjuku.”

“Iza-nii?”

Mira repeated in confusion, “…nii?”

Izaya frowned, gritting his teeth in irritation.

“Yes, it’s me. Now go back to my apartment and get me some clothes.”

Mairu stubbornly protested, “I don’t have to do anything for you!”

“If you don’t, I’ll break your friend’s fingers.”

Mira paled considerably.

Mairu scoffed, “You wouldn’t.”

“Why not?” Izaya smiled at the trembling girl on the floor, “Who is she going to say did it, a naked stranger she let into her house? Or would she just blame you?”

“What makes you think I care if she gets hurt?” Mairu argued. Mira looked close to fainting; her face was white and slick as milk.

“Because there’s evidence that you were the last person she saw before the injuries, which implicates you in an investigation.”

“Iza-nii!”

“Go get me some clothes!”

“No!”

“Yes!”

“No!”

“Yes!”

“No!”

Izaya muttered a curse under his breath and seized the girl’s hand. Mira screamed instantly, kicking at him barefoot and thrashing about on the tiles.

“Fine!” Mairu shouted at the door before she took off.

The informant grinned and released the girl’s fingers. Mira scooted away until her back thudded against the wall and she began to sob. Izaya watched this with distaste as Mairu’s hurried footsteps thudded down the hallway. He came to sit beside Mira, but she curled into a ball when he drew near.

“S-s-stay away from me…” She murmured weakly, covering her face.

“Come on,” Izaya coaxed, putting his hands on her quivering shoulders. “I wasn’t really going to hurt you.”

Mira whipped around and glared at him with stinging eyes.

“Y-you’re a t-terrible person!”

With that, she huddled even farther away and buried her head between her knees, crying softly to herself.

Izaya smirked.

“Maybe, but at least I’m not as pathetic as you are.”
almost done, should be only one more chapter to go.
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